English Business Writing Course KISS: Keep It Short and Simple Date 10 March 2016 Prepared for R&T Staff Presentation by Jennifer Lee
Before we start Many of the points I will bring up in the lesson are guidelines and not rules of writing business emails. These guidelines are based on modern day trends. This is not the only way to write an email! 2 Not to be reproduced or disseminated without permission.
Before we start Discussion Question or Exercise on your worksheet Point to take note of in your worksheet 3 Not to be reproduced or disseminated without permission.
Before we start A little bit about me 4 Not to be reproduced or disseminated without permission.
KISS: Keep It Short and Simple
1) Long or short sentences: Which would you prefer not to read? 7 Not to be reproduced or disseminated without permission.
2) Why do you dislike reading those kind of sentences? 8 Not to be reproduced or disseminated without permission.
Why are emails misunderstood? When trying to explain what we want, we either use Unclear phrases Too many words 9 Not to be reproduced or disseminated without permission.
Why are emails misunderstood? Can you please kindly share all things with regards to the issue of billing? Please find enclosed the PDF attachment for your onward dissemination. Kindly let us know if you have further queries in this regard. We will get back to you soonest regarding the matters raised. Please be informed that as a new intern in Corporate department will commence her work with us on 4 January 2016 we would appreciate if you can do the necessary to expedite her entry into our company. These examples use complicated, old fashioned phrases and words to get their ideas across! 10 Not to be reproduced or disseminated without permission.
3 myths people have about using simple words and short sentences. 11 Not to be reproduced or disseminated without permission.
Myth 1 If my sentence is too short, it will sound rude! It is not the length of your sentence that will make your message sound rude. 12 Not to be reproduced or disseminated without permission.
Myth 2 I should use complex words to impress my reader. You might impress your reader, but you will end up losing them instead if they don t understand what you re saying! 13 Not to be reproduced or disseminated without permission.
Myth 3 If I use simple English, I will not sound as professional. By using simple English, you are expressing your ideas in a way that s easier for people to understand (This is how you make deals)! 14 Not to be reproduced or disseminated without permission.
We should use simple words and short sentences! 1. Your choice of words will change the tone of your email. 2. We should communicate our ideas, and not our language skills. 3. It is easier for people to understand what you want when you use simple English. 15 Not to be reproduced or disseminated without permission.
Nowadays, people are encouraged to use shorter phrases and simpler words to get their ideas across! 16 Not to be reproduced or disseminated without permission.
This modern style of business writing is also known as Plain English. 17 Not to be reproduced or disseminated without permission.
Plain English is communicating in English that is clear and easy for the reader to understand. 18 Not to be reproduced or disseminated without permission.
Old-fashioned English vs Plain English Old-Fashioned English uses Plain English uses Old-fashioned jargon or big/abstract words Basic, commonly used words Long, run-on sentences. Short and concise sentences. Many ideas in one sentence. One idea per sentence. Makes use of more words to explain ideas Clear email formatting to explain and organise ideas 19 Not to be reproduced or disseminated without permission.
Plain English means writing clearly with 1. Simple words 2. Short sentences 20 Not to be reproduced or disseminated without permission.
KISS Plain English writing means KISSing your writing! 21 Not to be reproduced or disseminated without permission.
KISS?! 22 Not to be reproduced or disseminated without permission.
KISS Keep It Short and Simple 23 Not to be reproduced or disseminated without permission.
What does this mean? To write clear emails in Plain English, we 1) Use simple words 2) Use short sentences 3) Take out redundant phrases and words in your sentences. Think of the KISS model when writing each sentence! 24 Not to be reproduced or disseminated without permission.
KISS Keep It Short and Simple with Plain English writing! 25 Not to be reproduced or disseminated without permission.
26 Not to be reproduced or disseminated without permission.
What happens if a sentence is too wordy? 27 Not to be reproduced or disseminated without permission.
What happens if a sentence is too wordy? Number of words in the sentence Percentage of people who will understand on the first reading 7-10 words 95% 15-20 words 75% 27 or more words 4% Model Business Letters, Emails and Other Business Documents (Seventh Edition) by Shirley Taylor 28 Not to be reproduced or disseminated without permission.
Keep It Short and Simple! If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out. George Orwell A man who uses a great many words to express his meaning is like a bad marksman who instead of aiming a single stone at an object takes up a handful and throws at it in hopes he may hit. Samuel Johnson 29 Not to be reproduced or disseminated without permission.
Recap: To write clear emails in Plain English, we 1) Use simple words 2) Use short sentences 3) Take out redundant phrases and words in your sentences. Think of the KISS model when writing each sentence! 30 Not to be reproduced or disseminated without permission.
KISS: Keep It Short and Simple Class Exercise
Remove the phrases and words that are not necessary to the meaning of the sentence. 32
KISS: Keep It Short and Simple 1. Please be reminded that all staff must collect their time sheets by 9 am every day. All staff must collect their time sheets by 9 am every day. 33
KISS: Keep It Short and Simple Please 2. Kindly arrange to clear your inventory before 4 pm today. Please clear your inventory by 4 pm today. Take out in your sentences: - Arrange to - Ensure that - Proceed to 34
KISS: Keep It Short and Simple Please 3. I would be grateful if you can call me next time you are in Cambodia. Please call me the next time you are in Cambodia. 35
KISS: Keep It Short and Simple Please 4. Kindly contact me as soon as possible to discuss this matter. Please contact me as soon as possible to discuss this. 36
KISS: Keep It Short and Simple this 5. Please kindly note that our firm at the present time has no past records of dealings with the aforementioned company. Take out in your sentences: - Please/ kindly be advised/note/be informed Our firm has not dealt with this company. not dealt 37
KISS: Keep It Short and Simple Group Exercise
Group Exercise How can we make these sentences shorter? What phrases are redundant? What simpler words can we use instead? 1. Kindly take note of the list of partners below attending the abovecaptioned event. 2. Would all staff please note that Mr David Song will be leaving the firm at the end of this month. 3. Please ensure you return the book to Sophia when you are done with it. 4. As spoken, we will be grateful if you can ensure that these lawyers profiles are deleted from the website. 5. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any further enquiries about the proposal. 6. Please proceed to confirm my meeting with Mr Sans. 7. Please kindly advise if partners also required to submit their travel plans by 20 January. 8. We will appreciate your kind assistance in giving us your details in the form so that we can process your registration. 9. As per our conversation, please kindly revert to me on your earliest date of availability. 10. The aforementioned proposal has been submitted to the client. 39
Group Exercise Here is 1. Kindly take note of the list of partners below attending the this abovecaptioned event. Take out in your sentences: - Please/ kindly be advised/note/be informed Here is the list of partners attending this event. 40 the
Group Exercise 2. Would all staff please note that Mr David Song will be leaving the firm at the end of this month. Take out in your sentences: - Please/ kindly be advised/note/be informed Mr David Song will be leaving the firm at the end of this month. 41
Group Exercise 3. Please ensure you return the book to Sophia when you are done with it. Take out in your sentences: - Arrange to - Ensure that - Proceed to Please return the book to Sophia when you are done with it. 42
Group Exercise 4. As spoken, we will be grateful if you delete can ensure that these lawyers profiles are deleted from the website. Please Thank you for taking the time to speak to me just now. Please delete these lawyers profiles from the website. 43
Group Exercise 5. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any further enquiries about the proposal. questions Please contact me if you have any questions about the proposal. 44
Group Exercise 6. Please proceed to confirm my meeting with Mr Sans. Please confirm my meeting with Mr Sans. 45
Group Exercise 7. Please kindly advise if partners are also required to submit their travel plans by 20 January.? Take out in your sentences: - Please/ kindly be advised/note/be informed Are partners also required to submit their travel plans by 20 January? 46
Group Exercise 8. We will appreciate your kind give Please assistance in giving us your details in the form so that we can process your registration. Please give us your details in the form so that we can process your registration. 47
Group Exercise 8. Please give us your details in the form so that we can process your registration. Please fill in the form to register (for this event). 48
Group Exercise 9. As per our conversation, please let me know kindly revert to me on your earliest date of availability. Please let me know your earliest date of availability. 49
Group Exercise 9. Please let me know your earliest date of availability. when you are free Please let me know when you are free. (to meet/talk) 50
Group Exercise This 10. The aforementioned proposal has been submitted to the client. We have submitted the proposal to the client. This proposal has been submitted to the client. 51
Take Full Advantage of Communicating through Emails Communicating is about presenting your information in a way that s easy for readers to understand. 52
Take Full Advantage of Communicating through Emails The same way, we must think about how our email messages can be visually presented in a way that s not difficult for people to read. 53
Version A Please ask Mr Chin about the cost of renting the room, the seating capacity, the duration we can rent the room for and the cost of dinner for a person. Version B Please ask Mr Chin about the following points: - Cost of renting room - Seating capacity - Duration of rental - Cost of dinner per person 54
Why is Version B easier to read? - The text is arranged in a way that is not as overwhelming as Version A. - By breaking a long sentence into shorter bullet points, it is easier to understand what the writer wants. - We are Keeping It Short and Simple! 55
Styles in Modern Business Writing First impressions count and we usually judge a piece of business writing on its visual appearance before even reading a word. Many visual aspects are taken care of in a well-written document, as good writing makes use of attractive white space from subheadings and short paragraphs. Using modern business writing styles also makes your writing look clean and attractive. Styles change over time and the modern business writing trend is for styles to be more minimal regarding the use of capitals, bulleted lists, spaces between sentences and punctuation generally. http://www.onlinegrammar.com.au/styles-in-modern-business-writing/ 56
Making your Email Clean and Attractive Instead of communicating your points with more words Communicate with clear and clean formatting! 57
Old-fashioned English vs Plain English Old-Fashioned English uses Plain English uses Old-fashioned jargon or big/abstract words Basic, commonly used words Long, run-on sentences. Short and concise sentences. Many ideas in one sentence. One idea per sentence. Makes use of more words to explain ideas Clear email formatting to explain and organise ideas 58
Making your Email Clean and Attractive Tidy up your email with - Short paragraphs - Tables - Point Form - Bullet Points - Numbered Points 59
Tips to Writing Concisely - Use many short paragraphs instead of one long paragraph. - Keep to 1-2 ideas per sentence. - Keep sentences with similar ideas in the same paragraph. 60
Tables and Point Form Version A Version B What do you love about emails? Sends within seconds Free Easy to send to multiple parties Please help Nancy put together the proposal. Please kindly assist Nancy with the collation of the proposal. Easy to contact people over long distances For the ASEAN conference in May, we need to work on the following things: 1) Venue: Tentatively book the hotel on both 20 and 21 May 2015 for the event. 2) Agenda: Start drafting an agenda for the full-day conference - The agenda should include one lunch break and two tea breaks. 3) Invitation List: Put together an invitation list of clients from MNCs. 61
When is a good time to use bullet points, numbered points and tables? Bullet Points Numbered Points Tables Use when When you have a few short key points you want your reader to focus on - You have many points you need your reader to take note of - You want to break the ideas in your email into - You need to compare figures - List multiple numbers at the same time. ordered sections. Example Scenario You have to list a quick summary of points for your client to look at You have to plan for an event, and need to break the different action points in your email into sections. You have to compile and compare your findings in a clear way. 62
Presenting Your Information: Bullet Point Form Here is the cost of ordering from the three different caterers: 1. Purple Sage - Price/pax: $20 - Number of items on the menu: 7 items - Cost of 6 butlers: $540 - Delivery Charge: $50-8 Bistro tables: $280-200 Wine glasses: $400 - Total Cost (incl. GST) for 100 pax: $3498.90 2. Prive Catering - Price/pax: $28 - Number of items on the menu: 10 items - Cost of 6 butlers: $510 - Delivery Charge: $40-8 Bistro tables: $360-200 Wine glasses: $200 - Total Cost (incl. GST) for 100 pax: $4183.70 3. Orange Clove - Price/pax: $30 - Number of items on the menu: 11 items + 1 beverage - Cost of 6 butlers: $480 - Delivery Charge: n.a. - 8 Bistro tables: $240-200 Wine glasses: $200 - Total Cost (incl. GST): $4194.40 63
Presenting Your Information: Table Form Here is the cost of ordering from the three different caterers: Caterer Price /Pax Number of Items Butler Charge (6 pax) Delivery Charges Bistro table rental (8 tables) Wine glass rental (200 pcs) Total Cost for 100 pax (incl. 7% GST) Purple Sage 20 7 items + 1 Beverage 540 50 280 400 $3498.90 Prive Catering 28 10 items 510 40 360 200 $4183.70 Orange Clove 30 11 items + 1 Beverage 480 0 240 200 $4194.40 64
Be flexible when communicating your ideas in your email. Find the best way to present your information clearly! 65
Helpful Phrases When Using Point Form/Tables in Your Email - Point Form - I ve summarised the key discussion points from our meeting yesterday: - I will be touching on these three points in this email: - To recap, here is a list of items we covered in our conversation. - Here is a list of we need to do by next week: - Table Form - I ve set out a table comparing the difference between ( ) - Here is a chart showing ( ) 66
KISS: Keep It Short and Simple Exercise: Writing a Clean and Attractive Email
How can we use simple words, short paragraphs and point form to make this email read more clearly? 68
Exercise: Writing a Clean and Attractive Email Hi Clara, 1 2 3 4 Can you please help us make these changes? We have some edits we would like to make on our office s website. We will be grateful if you can incorporate the changes moving forward. Can you please include both English and Thai translations of our Firm Overview, add the five new lawyers profiles below to the Our Team page, remove the 66 2 656 1989 office phone number as it is no longer in use and use the picture attached for the banner of the website? Please kindly let me know should you have any question or comment. Please let us know if you have any questions. Thank you. Best regards, Candy 69
Exercise: Writing a Clean and Attractive Email Hi Clara, We have some edits we would like to make on our office s website. Can you please help us make these changes? 1. Include both English and Thai translations of our Firm Overview. 2. Add the five new lawyers profiles to the Our Team page. Their profiles can be found below. 3. Remove the 66 2 656 1989 office telephone number as it is no longer in use. 4. Use the picture attached for the website banner. Please let us know if you have any questions. Thank you. Best regards, Candy 70
Conclusion KISSing your writing means - Cutting out unnecessary words in each sentence. - Presenting your information in a way that is clear and easy to read. 71
Conclusion Remember to KISS when - Thinking of the best way to communicate your ideas. If there are a lot of points you need to mention in your email, would using sentences in paragraphs be enough? Do you need to use point form or tables in your email? - Writing each sentence. Is it Short and Simple? 72
Q & A Any questions?
Email Structure: Get Your Point Across
Thank you for coming! The lesson is over. See you next time!
Disclaimer This presentation forms part of the training materials which are strictly for internal use within the firm. It is not intended for public circulation and should not be so circulated without the prior written permission of the Knowledge and Risk Management Director of Rajah & Tann. This presentation is also not intended to constitute legal advice or opinion and should not be relied upon as such. 76 Not to be reproduced or disseminated without permission.