Code Switching: How to Talk So Men Will Listen

2010-2011 Webinar Series for Professional and Technical Women Code Switching: How to Talk So Men Will Listen January 20, 2011 12:00 1:00 pm PST Audrey Nelson Ph.D., CEO, Nelson Communication Note: this webinar is being recorded and will be available for playback from the IYF website by January 21. GoToWebinar technical support 1-800-263-6317

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Audrey Nelson Introduction Author of and You Don t Say: Navigating Nonverbal Communication Between The Sexes 30 Years experience as a consultant and trainer. GoToWebinar technical support 1-800-263-6317

Copyright 2009 Audrey Nelson PhD

Code switching: \'kōd 'swich-iŋ\ verb. The ability to use your knowledge of two or more cultures or languages and switch between them, depending on the situation, to best communicate your message. Copyright 2009 Audrey Nelson PhD 7

By understanding Code Switching can we ultimately change the corporate culture to make it more female friendly? Copyright 2009 Audrey Nelson PhD 8

Polling Question: How often do you experience communication challenges with your male colleagues? Copyright 2009 Audrey Nelson PhD 9

What is the code-switching style? It's dynamic and ever-changing, based on its code-switching roots. It is a blend of the two styles into a more synergistic approach to leadership and communication. It's strong and soft, aggressive and straightforward, compassionate and not afraid of emotions. It is adaptable and flexible meeting the needs of the situation and context. Copyright 2009 Audrey Nelson PhD 10

Benefits Of Code Switching Maximum Effectiveness Creates Positive Work Environment Increases Bottom Line Copyright 2009 Audrey Nelson PhD 11

Underlying Assumptions of Code Switching At work, subtle microinequities and disrespectful behaviors that support the business infrastructure occur every day between men and women. Different is good! We don t all want to be the same. Shared equal opportunity: both men and women are responsible for successful communication! Copyright 2009 Audrey Nelson PhD 12

Breaking the He and She Code It doesn't matter whether your workplace is female or male dominated. Copyright 2009 Audrey Nelson PhD 13

Code Switching Tips Watch out for indirect compound requests-the more words you use, the more you dilute and soften the request. Don t let excessive use of adverbs take over (terribly, lovely, adorable, awfully). Maintain and keep the floor-if you are interrupted, get it back with force balanced by respect. Are you wearing that? Dressing for success, not access! Copyright 2009 Audrey Nelson PhD 14

Code Switching Tips Manage the crying game-precue the conversation. Take a bathroom break. No is not a four letter word. Earn respect by setting boundaries. Get rid of old messages such as Good girls are quiet and passive. Speak up or you may pay the price of not getting your needs met. Copyright 2009 Audrey Nelson PhD 15

Polling Question: What aspect of my communication style would I most like to improve? Copyright 2009 Audrey Nelson PhD 16

Commonly Asked Questions Is gender really that significant in defining the way people interact with each other? Can men and women learn to change and adapt their styles? Haven t things changed in gender relationships? Copyright 2009 Audrey Nelson PhD 17

Case Study on Negotiating Code Switch: Do not become the constant whiner when you are left out or notice network favoritism. The good ol boys club needs to know when it crosses the line. Set boundaries and address issues from a position of strength, not weakness. Copyright 2009 Audrey Nelson PhD 18

Case Study on Networking Code Switch: Aim very high when you ask; it s easier to come down than go up. Copyright 2009 Audrey Nelson PhD 19

The BIG Question Now that women are the majority in the workplace, how are these techniques helpful in getting women into executive leadership positions? Copyright 2009 Audrey Nelson PhD 20

Code Switching Solves Workplace Communication in 2020 Become self conscious-self monitor Stop the Blame Game Question the Status Quo Copyright 2009 Audrey Nelson PhD 21

Polling Question: What is the best way for women to positively influence the corporate culture? Copyright 2009 Audrey Nelson PhD 22

Learn More: www.catalyst.org http://www9.georgetown.edu/faculty/tannend/ http://www.orwac.org/ Talking from Nine to Five: Women and Men at Work Deborah Tannen You Just Don t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation Deborah Tannen Copyright 2009 Audrey Nelson PhD

You Don t Say: Navigating Nonverbal Communication Between the Sexes Audrey Nelson Ph.D. Prentice Hall 2004 Code Switching: How to Talk So Men Will Listen Audrey Nelson Ph.D. Claire Damken Brown Ph.D. Alpha Books - 2009 Copyright 2009 Audrey Nelson PhD

Additional Resources from Audrey Nelson Copyright 2009 Audrey Nelson PhD

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Questions for Further Discussion 1. Why do you think the ability to Code Switch is an essential skill for successful working women? 2. Do you feel that your gender is a factor in communicating with colleagues? 3. Are you confident in asking for what you want? It not, what stops you from doing so? 4. Can you think of any examples where you have seen the corporate culture changing to be more inclusive of women? Questions? 650.592.9227 Get alerts about upcoming webinars. Join our mailing list! www.inventyourfuture.com

Please Complete Our Survey We d love your feedback about today s webinar. You will automatically receive a survey via e-mail at the end of this webinar. The webinar recording will be available on the Invent Your Future website, www.inventyourfuture.com, by tomorrow. All attendees will receive an e-mail with instructions. The webinar series is produced by Invent Your Future Enterprises, a professional development company that specializes in the retention, development and acceleration of women leaders. 2011 Invent Your Future Enterprises www.inventyourfuture.com